Feel and Release
My favourite line with my clients is “Feel and release”.
Feel, because we need to experience our emotions. Avoiding them by distracting ourselves doesn’t address anything. We potentially partake in some unhealthy distractions (drinking, smoking, binge eating, etc.) and we leave some part of our body to hold on to our feelings. Pushed far enough into avoidance, we pull our awareness away from life a bit. The bad isn’t so bad, but the good isn’t so good anymore either.
Release, because there’s a time to stop processing. Once things have been sorted through in our heart and our mind, we need to let it go. Getting stuck in the mulling over phase keeps us stuck in the past. Making a clear transition into release frees up our energy for moving forward.
Feel. Release. Repeat. :)
Bruises Aren’t Art
There’s quite an uproar online today about Edmonton’s Fluid Hair Salon advertisement.
A glammed-up lady with a black eye, her “man” with a shiny trinket for her. Glamorizing domestic to advertise a hair salon. Are you as disgusted as me?
The story has been covered by The Edmonton Journal and The Edmonton Sun. The salon owner is quoted as saying “We just like art, and it’s also objective” and “It might strike a chord, but as the way our society and community is getting, we keep tailoring everything because everyone is getting so sensitive” .
I am completely and totally floored that this ad not only made it to publication, but was defended by the salon. The salon owner has a seriously distorted view of what will draw women into her salon. Suggesting that a woman wants to look good even in the face of abuse shows a complete lack of anything resembling empathy or understanding.
A number of years back, I was the victim of domestic violence. As someone who lived through sporting bruises from the hands of a “man”, I’m livid that something so serious and damaging is being glamorized in the name of catching the public’s attention. There’s nothing about being abused by someone that is edgy or artistic. Nothing.
Like this model, I posed for pictures once to show off my bruises. Unlike this model, I was posing for the police to collect evidence. Do you want to know how much I cared about how my hair looked? I’ll let you guess at how little.
Do you want to know who else didn’t care too much about how their hair looked? The women and children at the shelter where I completed my college practicum. These women who had fled their homes with nothing, or next to it, weren’t sitting around with fur collars and high heels. They had the shirts on their backs and a look of fear in their eyes. They were not so concerned about fashion and far more concerned with where they would live and how they could stay safe once they left the shelter.
That’s the true face of abuse, not this shiny shocking photo. Domestic violence has no place in making a buck.
If you’re as upset as I am about the use of this image, please let Fluid Hair Salon know. You can find them on Twitter, on Facebook, and by phone at (780)989-0204
This is not a cop-out post
This isn’t a cop-out post for the Summer Blog Challenge. Really!
This is me sharing a resource for relaxing. Between the appealing graphics and the calming music, this is an excellent tool to release tensions and quiet mental chatter before going to bed.
Okay, I’m being just slightly cheeky here, but I’m trying really hard to make up for the fact that I’m too sleepy to put together a meaningful post tonight.
So here you have it, the Winter Bells game. Enjoy! I’m about to go hop on some bells and clear my mind now…
Just Feeding My Kid
There are few parenting topics that stir up emotions like breastfeeding. Put the “breastfeeding in public” spin on it, and you’re likely to get a wide array of passionate opinions offered up.
From snarky remarks to blatant harassment, there’s a lot of negativity directed at moms breastfeeding in front of others, and I’d like to speak up as one of the moms who breastfeeds in public on a regular basis.
Dear everyone offended by moms breastfeeding in public:
When I breastfeed my child, it’s not about you. It’s about my child.
Many times during the day and night, she breastfeeds. Sometimes she’s hungry. Sometimes she’s thirsty. Sometimes she’s tired, and sometimes she’s overwhelmed and needs to reconnect. Our nursing relationship is one based on meeting her needs, and these needs fluctuate.
I don’t pump breastmilk to feed her in a bottle when we’re out of the house. I respect that breastmilk changes in composition depending on the time of day and the pathogens my child has been exposed to. I also acknowledge that the milk itself isn’t always the reason for her breastfeeding, and that a bottle of milk doesn’t meet her need for familiar physical contact. Pumping breastmilk is also a very time consuming task for me and I don’t have the extra hours in my day to pump and store milk, and then sterilize the equipment.
I don’t breastfeed in public to make others uncomfortable. If anything, it’s been a process over the last 11 years of parenting my breastfed children to become more comfortable myself breastfeeding around others. If you think you’re put in a rough spot by noticing that my child is breastfeeding, please think of how I feel being subject to your dirty looks and your scandalized whispers to your friend.
I do my best to stay in my comfort zone of keeping my bare skin covered up, which generally means I’m trying to keep my belly and back from hanging out of the bottom of my shirt and I keep my breast mostly covered. Sometimes my child pulls my shirt up and completely uncovers my breast. Please feel free to avert your eyes just as I do when you bend over to put on your shoes and I see how low your pants are riding.
I respect that my breastfeeding in public might stir up uncomfortable feelings in you. I think that it speaks to how out of touch our society is with breastfeeding. I’m sure that if I show a bit of respect for you and you show a bit of respect for me, we can have conversations about our needs and our feelings, and we can find even more ways of supporting families raising small children.
Signed,
A breastfeeding mom
Yummy Eats
I haven’t posted any recipes in ages and I have a few I want to share. The first two I’ve adapted from some recipes I found on a page of Paleo breakfast recipes.
Coconut Cakes
(These are delicious and crepe-like. The kids like to put cooked berries on them and roll them up. So yum! I usually mix them in the blender.)
6 eggs
6 Tbsp Coconut Milk
3 Tsp Honey
1/2 Tsp Sea Salt
8 Tbsp Coconut Flour
Coconut oil to grease pan
Steps:
1. Combine all the above ingredients in a medium mixing bowl
2. Make sure you beat them until there are no lumps, you can do this by hand with a whisk.
3. Preheat a griddle or pan with coconut oil to about 350 degrees or a medium heat on a burner no different then you would cook a regular pancake
4. Spoon the batter on your pan to the desired size you would like
5. They won’t bubble on the top like traditional pancakes but should take about 3-4 minutes per side, you can do the spatula test and see how well it slides under.
6. Once they are complete, plate and serve with the Raspberry syrup below
7. Enjoy
Paleo Pancakes
(The best grain-free pancakes I’ve found yet. Nice and fluffy and just sweet enough to get the kids gobbling them all up.)
Ingredients
2 large eggs
1/4 cup of 100% pure honey
1 table spoon of vanilla extract
1/4 cup of water
1 1/2 cups of blanched almond flour
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon arrowroot powder
2 tablespoons grapeseed oil
Instructions
1. In a blender, combine the eggs, honey, vanilla extract, and water
2. Process on high for about 1 minute, until smooth.
3. Add the almond flour, sea salt, baking soda, and arrowroot powder, and blend until throughly combined.
4. Heat the grapeseed oil in a large skillet over medium-low heat. Ladle 1 heaping tablespoon of the batter onto the skillet for each pancake.
5. Cook until small bubbles form on the top of each pancake; when the bubbles begin to open, flip each pancake.
The next two recipes come from Cooking With Wisdom II, a cookbook put out by our homeschooling school board. I love this cookbook because the recipes are geared towards easily feeding many mouthes.
Oatmeal Giveaways
(Disclaimer: Make these when you have people to share them with! Dangerously yummy. I guess that’s what happens when a recipe calls for this much sugar and butter…)
Preheat oven to 350F
Mix together in a large bowl:
6 cups dry rolled oats
3 cups brown sugar
3 cups butter
3 cups flour
1 Tablespoon baking soda
Make small balls of dough and place on an ungreased cookie sheet.
Bake for 10-12 minutes.
Let the cookies cool on the sheet for a minute or two before removing.
Quick Cheese Biscuits
(We love these! Quick and easy, and the perfect biscuit to go with supper or breakfast. I use freshly-ground spelt flour and often double the recipe.)
Ingredients:
1 3/4 cup flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 Tablespoon sugar
1 Tablespoon blended herbs
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4 cup butter, cubed
1 cup milk
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, sugar, spices, and herbs. Using pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter cubes until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add cheese and milk, mixing with fork until ragged, moist dough forms.
Drop by 1/4 cup 1.5 inches apart onto greased cookie sheet. Bake in center of 425F oven until lightly browned, 13-15 minutes. Makes at least 12 biscuits.
A Night of Love
Tonight I had the pleasure of attending Social Circlet, a social event put together by Bibagogo to bring together entrepreneurs and business owners. It was a night of fabulous people, delicious food and wine, and great conversations.
I learned two things tonight.
The first was that you can take the Kim out of breastfeeding, but you can take the breastfeeding out of Kim. I picked my outfit tonight based on the specification that I wanted it to be not breastfeeding-friendly. As anyone who has also spent years of their wardrobe planning based breast accessibility will appreciate, it was a rare treat to wear a “normal” bra and dress.
And yet, breasts all a-covered and nursing toddler at home with The Papa, a huge number of my conversations tonight were about breastfeeding. From chatting about the importance of prenatal breastfeeding education to exploring future networking possibilities for IBCLCs in Edmonton, breastfeeding was inevitably still a focus of my evening. I loved it and wouldn’t have it any other way.
The other thing I learned was the powerful tool that networking can be.
As my dear Zita knows, I love with all my heart the working with people side of my business but I can sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable with the “business” side of business, as it were. If I could give all my services away for free and keep from running myself dry I would. I’ve spent my time working in the retail world and anything that feels like icky sales stuff makes me run for the hills.
But tonight, coming together with others and making connections, it was the business-building stuff with all the warm fuzzies included. People were there to share their passions and form relationships, and it was instantly obvious how sharing our strengths could open up new possibilities for both the entrepreneurs and the families we serve. It was authentic enthusiasm unfolding, not people with dollar signs in their eyes, and it’s hard not to get swept up in people talking about the things they love.
Many thanks again to Bibagogo for bringing us all together tonight and I’m looking forward to the next night of fun! (#yegmomsIRL2??)
Happy
I’m fighting the urge to make this a cop-out post. It’s day 17 of the Summer Blog Challenge and my brain is mush. It would seem that not getting nearly enough sleep last night followed by a busy day today isn’t the best environment for coherent thoughts.
In the name of this not being a cop-out post (quite), I’m going to tell you about seven things that make me happy:
1) My kids. Obvious, I know, but really so true! I love watching them unfold and grow. Before I was a mom, I had no idea that watching another’s happiness could make me so happy as well.
2) That husband guy. I know, obvious again, but way too important to be left out. I’m really enjoying Liam working from home now and getting to see him more. It’s nice to be able to say hi when I pop downstairs to get something out of the fridge or do laundry. And the kids love seeing him more too!
3) Friends. I spent today with friends and my heart is happy tonight. I’m blessed to have some pretty amazing people in my life.
4) Being outside. Now that the mosquito infestation seems to have tapered off a bit (knock on wood!!) we’ve been spending more time outdoors. I feel better outside, more whole and awake. Three cheers for the gorgeous end of summer we’re getting!
5) Positive feedback from clients. I always say that my payment for the work I do is the satisfaction I get from impacting people’s lives, and getting to hear how our sessions have made changes for my clients is like a giant Christmas bonus.
6) Pretty things on Pinterest! Pinterest has turned into my pretty thing therapy. I browse pictures of beautiful places and words that inspire me, and suddenly I feel more able to meet the mundane tasks of everyday life.
7) Martin Sexton. I dare you to try not to feel happier while listening to Diner.
Three Ring Circus
One of the things I love most about unschooling is the way that our days often take us in places I never could have planned. Today was a perfect opportunity for me to relearn the importance of an open schedule and a fully-present parent.
We started off our afternoon going outside. I wanted to make use of our brand new gazebo and the cozy outdoor space it offers, so I brought some things outside. Lily and Olivia love doing workbooks lately, so I grabbed some books, a bucket of felts, and some snacks.
After a bit, the kids started to lose interest so I offered to go in the house to find a game. When I went in the games closet, I found a kit to make a mosaic stepping stone that Nick received as a gift a while back. I checked with him to see if it was something he wanted to make all together, and he agreed that it would be fun.
An hour or so later, we had a pretty little stepping stone to show for our work.
While I was cleaning up the mess from the project, Nick went back to his book and the girls started putting together a show. They called me over a little while later to see their exciting circus act.
Nick soon joined in the action and things got even livelier. I noticed that he was singing some circus music to go along with their antics so I started looking with my phone to see if I could play some recorded circus music for them.
Right away, Nick (Mr. I Have A Sudden Huge Understanding Of Technology) suggested I should look on YouTube rather than doing a Google search. We quickly found some, and as soon as Nick saw the accompanying video he decided that they should make a video as well. He suggested I play the music on the iPad and record the video with my phone. So I did.
When it was done, we reviewed the video. We decided that the angle might be better if I were to sit closer to the monkeybars. They did a few more runs through their act and polished things up a bit to make this second version.
I love this stuff. I love watching my kids take such delight in the fun activities they come up with. I love the way they pull together different ideas and knowledge and pool them together to create something. I love being able to offer resources that they grab hold of and take to places I never even thought of. I really really love it, and I’m grateful that I get to be a part of it all.
Kim On My Shoulder
There are nights I wish I had a small version of me sitting on my shoulder, telling me the things I tell my clients.
Tonight, I think that Kim would say something like this:
Take a deep breath. Cut yourself some slack. Tackle one thing at a time, but nothing at all tonight after the kind of day today was. Take another deep breath. Go sniff a sleeping child. Put your feet up and have a drink, and then get some sleep!
What do you know? That Kim on my shoulder is smart. Off I go to do what my tiny guru said. Night!
Thank You
Today marks the seventh anniversary of the day Liam and I were married. Right about at this moment, we were anxiously waiting for Liam’s parents, who were stuck in traffic, to arrive at the church so we could get the show on the road. The ceremony and the reception went off without a hitch and it was exactly the kind of relaxed celebration we’d been wanting.
The following years have been a whirlwind of growing our family and building a life together. Being married to Liam has fulfilled all the dreams I had about married life, and then some. Being able to go through life’s small moments and big transitions with Liam by my side has been one of my life’s greatest gifts.
Thank you, Liam, for all the things you are in my life. Thank you for being my best friend, my partner, and my co-parent. Thank you for being a loving and attentive father to our children. Thank you for helping me to dream bigger dreams and to recognize the potential you see in me. Thank you for loving me through my not so great moments, and for accepting all the parts that make me Kim. Thank you for being the rock in my life I know I can count on during every moment.
I love you, and I can’t wait to see what the next seven years hold for us.
